I asked him…”Jeff, be totally honest with me. Tell me…Did you know they were our kids…you know, like in marriage, when you just KNOW that this person standing before you is your husband. (at least, this is what happened to me). Like when I just knew, or at least I really believed that you were to be my husband. ??? Jeff looks me in the eyes and says. “They are ours, Katie” “They are our kids”. He said, “It’s funny you used the marriage analogy, because as I was thinking about how I would tell people about our kids, I would tell them that I know like I knew Katie was my wife”.
Originally we both agreed it would best not to meet our kids, as to not confuse them. It turned out that Jeff went to the little kid orphanage at nap time and so they were groggy, confused and probably thought it was all a dream. Patty introduced Jeff as her medical friend, not as their father.
*Here is some of Jeff’s random journal notes just thought I’d share a little, of course with his consent
The embassy said no. I am desperate for options. Don’t even know what I can do for options. As far as I can tell they are orphans. They are definitely completely impoverished. They don’t want the kids. I can’t send them back to where they came from. Could I get a visitor visa? Keep them for 2 years? Live abroad for 2 years? Did I do everything I could have? I asked God to make a way. Is this the way?
I’m sitting here in a café. Need some hope now. I leave tomorrow; I can’t bear flying home with no hope. I will not give up this fight. What are our options? A guy just walked by holding a sign that said “Nothing can take God’s place”. Kids outside are washing the UN vehicle on their own without being asked, just to make some money. I can’t allow the picture in my mind to be Sobie and Fatu doing that. They wouldn’t even get this chance because the UN is not in their Toe Community. Whose car would they wash? The poor don’t have cars. The UN land rover looks good. My kids would have done a better job. But they’ll never get this chance if I can help it. Final day in
Exhausted, definitely numb. Feel like I failed, I know I did all that I could. Why????
I met our kids today. Patty introduced me as her medical friend Jeff. It was nap time at the orphanage so they were groggy and confused. I don’t know what they thought, they seemed tired and confused. Fatu was shy and Osobie was responsive to whatever I asked him. They smelled so sweet. They were so soft and they were very small—tiny actually. Fatu was almost as tall as Sobie. They were beautiful. They showed me where they slept. I didn’t want to let them go. They both sat on my lap and fit perfectly. They were beautiful. I am flying home as we speak. I miss them already. I feel depressed and miss my wife. I wish I was there, when I heard the news. I wish I was with Katie. She is taking it very hard. I have mixed feelings. I wanted to see the kids to assure myself that they were as beautiful as I thought. They are more beautiful. They were stunning and sweet and tender. I thought maybe I’d be on this flight with them, trying to figure out how to be a parent and loving it. I would have given anything to fly 30 hours with 2 crying kids with me. I am tired, I miss my wife, I want my kids. Of the 4 trips I’ve had to
Final day in
Do not give up hope
This is not the end
Do not give up
This is not it
God can do the impossible!
God raised Lazarus from the dead!!
Galatians 6:9- And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Hope, Hope, Hope,
GOD IS NOT DONE!!
This will bring GLORY to God!!